I was feeling very anxious at work all day, begging the stupid arms on the clock to turn a little faster and stop this pussy-footin' around bullshit.
I slurped up the last drops of my coca cola like a vacuum on amphetamines and left the office, shutting the door, playing obsessive compulsive and making sure it was locked twice...i left the building, murdered elvis, and hit the glamorous little button on my keychain to unlock the car that my parents gave me cuz i'm a spoiled brat.

anyway, i found a parking place on my block, and walked through the door of my cheap, garbage scented apartment...my wife had set up an elementary rube goldberg machine.
when i opened the door, the tv set came smashing down on my head.

i preferred this to another episode of FRIENDS.