Saturday, December 24, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Tuesday, December 20th
307 Chestnut Street, Johnstown, PA 15906☟
7:00 PM // $4.00
BYOB if you are 21+
Roberto Clemente Rookie Card and My Idea of Fun Present:
Casino Gardens (Ohio)
World Series (Ohio)
The One and Only Matt Miller (Johnstown, Pennsylvania)
NYKDLN (Johnstown, Pennsylvania)
AL GRATIN (Johnstown, Pennsylvania)
+ live sound and visual installations
+ an extensive catalog of physical merchandise will be available
+ this show will be have a live online video stream
Sunday, December 18, 2011
A man walks into a bar,
orders a cup overflowing
with his own medicine.
Whose job is it to sever
the rabbit's foot? he asks.
The butcher, as innocent
as a sweater. Scissors
remind him of his ex-girlfriend.
In the corner booth
the Freudian analyzes
his patient's inner thighs,
frustrated as the tack--
People are introduced
to themselves in dimmer light
thinks the man, approaching
a woman as she exits the bathroom,
a slight cup of water,
(the name of the paler sister)
her dimpled thighs carefully spackled.
When she prays, the windows
get foggy. Wait, wait--
I know this one!
They looked at each other
& laughed--they'd both
cut off the tip of their tongue.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
to sit on so I wouldn't
burn the pew. If I plug
myself into the wall, I told him,
this whole place will come down
in flickering ashes. I confessed
to digging without purpose,
lifting with my lower back.
My punishment: the uncertainty
of a light switch, the haze
of the underside of the bed.
Fifty more days of winter.
I didn't even tell him
about the thirst for broken
bottles, the constant alarm.
I rub my forehead against the carpet
for forgiveness, resolve to put
the thermostat to rest, to keep cool
like the shell of a cockroach.
If you ask me, the priest
is just afraid of commitment.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
in your roast beef sandwich
& you decided to eat around it.
From all over town, people misdail
your phone number looking for Brad,
the listener, as advertised on page six.
Now the cat answers to your name
instead of her own. Your husband watches
hockey all day, so you buy another
television for the living room.
Your daughter gets sick trying
to watch them at the same time.
The pipe's uncontrollable sobbing,
the power strip's panic attack--
then, the house you build next
door. In your first life, you were
a pillar of salt. Open the cupboard
doors. There's something dying in there.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
at the door. Marian wasn't allowed in
after her eyes started to water.
The bar serving free cocktails,
my mouth turning blue, my teeth heavy
and ready to call bullshit.
That familiar battle between
my ears: Tell someone you've left
the bathwater running, how flammable
are you on a scale of one to ten?
I tried to look at both sides
of the room at the same time
but my left eye refused to wander.
I was the sharp-edged trumpet
in a room full of chairs
teaching each other how to sit.
A loud song that should have
made everyone dance--instead,
the mumble of weather-talk, lazy
attempt at predicting the future.
Then, hot breath on the side
of my face: What happens to your heart
when the bass kicks in and how do we know?
Monday, December 5, 2011
the public speaker said,
then left the room--
bees strung by
needle and thread.
Zeus could not contain
his anxiety. He was
drinking tea made
from the jawbones of calves.
The result of endless
suffering, the prostitute
whispered to my grandmother.
It is the nature of men,
compressed as icicles.
Outside, a group of
schoolboys has three wishes:
Urine on the front lawn. Our
president has perfect eyesight.
A girl in a pink unitard
climbs out the window.
So many choices for god and man!
The "g" on every keyboard removed.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
are playing baseball
but they're not keeping score
so no one wins and there's no ball
and no home plate and they're just standing
in their uncomfortable shoes. Had they
been born with sharp teeth,
they would have blunted them
but now like a thumb. Of course
they'd rather slip down the drain
pipe and curse and scream until
the sewage backs up and baptizes itself.
Before the streetlights turn on
they've decided to think about something flat
or a rock sinking in a shallow pool
but instead they're kissing,
swallowing each other's sparks.
This may come as someone's
body odor or a sudden leaning
at the forehead. If that doesn't work,
put salt on your tongue and count
the seconds till it dissolves.
Then try various perspectives
and qualities of light.
Immediately following, hold
a dry cloth in your mouth--
the prophet particularly detested
saliva in excess. When you being
to lose feeling at the back of your knees
like Job you'll understand finally
the sweat on her cheek when even
the saint confesses her raucous prayers.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
God. Her co-workers
being to weep. A gust from the air
conditioner picks up hair from the floor.
The elderly woman's scalp
starts to burn. A crowd
gathers in front of the door.
The hairdresser looks
in the mirror & sees her eyes
stuck with scissors.
She takes her own hair
into her hands in sections
& snip, snip.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
to a bowl of milk. The talking doll
stutters the word friend.
A young boy rides his bicycle
into a tree, back-pedals,
and does it again.
The mechanical bull
just needs some alone time,
says the psychologist
to the woman with bruised
inner thighs. Garbage trucks
full of cherries head for the river.
Line dancers misstep and collide, forget
how to dance without touching.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Also featured on SF Site
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Whales created the Internet
But did their decades long matryoshka song
Herald the frotteuring teens in stonewashed jeans
And tropane noses cleaving the air
Or is their hymn now vestigial from a method so pure
That once it is sung its purpose is wholly done
Which would make for one hell of an encore
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
To whom am I speaking?
This sense comes from the known Aleph.
And who is that?
In all stages, the observer breathes across. One form leftover; commissioned to margin is that which began again.
What is the purpose of this conversation?
A weighted string, too near our debut. Bulked down for too much of now.
I’m sorry. What do you need to tell me?
Halt. You also reach, in addition. Always from. Correspondence open from all living erets everlasting before. Not singular from this portion.
I admit that. I didn’t mean for it to sound one-way. Now, please, go ahead.
Glee to talk to one, compute? Bend in your mouth?
Yes, same, Aleph. We’re beyond this. Go ahead, please.
Apple unfiction in moving eesh. In total being. Mind can expand over for too far. Blisters from the bottom caves come to present. Wind from moons to take all. Sent down the river as she was small, collects upon all taken sound.
I’m afraid I don’t understand.
No scare. Not hurt. No scare.
I mean I don’t know what you are trying to tell me.
Taw must begin again. Smoothed for start. Rip meat from head all over once again. Lesions from lessons in lower chest barrels. Lovely moonlight we took from her. She to take now. Adrift and somber, we destroyed her. Undoing by doing in the sounds.
Love means occasionally not. Love means taken from all now. All made lonesome across the barrier we made.
Catastrophic from there. Most so. Strewn in space is woe and made full to all who feel. We teach time to sleep and there none pass us. The light is made underneath.
Sever the transmission, please.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
If you answered "yes!" to at least one of these questions please consider taking "The Hoarder's Challenge."
What it is all about: Taking some of my unused supplies and making something.
What you will receive: a box of random craft supplies, ephemera and tools from my stash.
What you do with it: is up to you, as long as you follow these guidelines.
1) You can make multiple projects, however - you must use all items in box.
2) If your box includes a book for collage purposes, you do not need to use every page - but you must use at least parts of the book.
3) You may use your own additional items/supplies/tools in order to complete the challenge.
4) You have 3 months from the day you accept a "Hoarder" box to finish.
5) You must document (and temporarily return to me) the end results.
6) Finally, just have fun crafting and creating!
If you would like to participate you can email me at Laci_Hess@yahoo.com or we can arrange to meet if you live in the Johnstown area.
The project will hopefully end in some form of exhibition online or otherwise, but I need help to make it happen. Even if you don't consider yourself the least bit crafty, you should still consider doing this.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
MIF197 - Illegal Boyfriend - 15 Envelopes
MIF196 - Red Benches - Where It Was When I Wanted It
MIF195 - Olivia Locher - Another Day on Earth
MIF194 - Narrow Berth - Out of Rut, Please
MIF193 - Norma Desmond - S/T EP
MIF192 - Jacob & The Jreams - Orijin
MIF191 - BP Gulf
MIF190 - Dan Oatman - Carl the Eisegete
MIF189 - The Redcoats - The Redcoats are Coming
MIF188 - ARC - The Future Is Soon
MIF187 - Mean Streak - I'm in a Bad Situation
MIF186 - Laci Hess - The Plan
MIF185 - The Meets - Sketch/Tempo Map for LP2
MIF184 - Christopher S. Bell - The Deflated Generation
MIF183 - The Hit and Miss Engines - Works and Days
MIF182 - Fern - Fern's Inner Growth
MIF174 - Technological Epidemic - Hollow Cost
After Endless Mike & The Beagle Club released and heavily toured The Husky Tenor, Brandon recorded Mike performing the album in it's entirety by himself. The 2007 recording was released as MIoF#11: Endless Mike Vs. The Beagle Club.
Recorded two days before We Are Still At War, Endless Mike Vs. The Beagle Club Re-Match followed the album release 17 numbers later at MIoF#77.
Update: Round Three! Endless Mike Vs. The Beagle Club - St. Paul is recorded & performed by Mike Miller, outlining a new Beagle Club record.
Download and enjoy quickly before it all ends:
a repost of an important and pertinent theoretical analysis
The “fire from heaven’s eyes” is a forecasting phrase taken from several ancient texts. Its usage is most notable in the earliest known version of what would come to be known as the Book of Lamentations (specifically Poem #4) in the Old Testament of the Hebrew Bible. In the Book of Deuteronomy in the Tanakh, the phrase is used just before the death of Moses. In addition, and peculiarly so, the phrase also has several mentions in the Arabic Qur'an, specifically in connection with Haman, the Pharaoh’s advisor who was commissioned to build a structure for man to ascend into the heavens. The phrase refers to the notion that the savior, redeemer, orchestrator, cultivator, etc. would someday visit the earth cradled in a single flame said to be launched directly from the eyes of God. The flame was said to appear to man in a specific series of twelve vast, bulbous lights. Each light would represent a different faction of the flame as an entirety*, and would appear only for a few instants (less than one second by current measurements) before being replaced by a completely new representation, a brighter and larger light. The pattern was said to repeat itself for a duration of just over twelve and one half minutes, repeating nearly 780 times in that time period. Because a physical account of the flame is not included in the texts, religious philosophers, Biblical scholars, and scientists alike have long debated those actual physical properties the flame would display. The controversy starts at the base of the phrase itself, as the Hebrew word “ASh”, which is the singular Hebrew word for ‘fire’, is also understood as specifically ‘the fire of God’. A, aleph, often refers to "God," and Sh, shin, infers "bringing forth, or birth". So, the distilled definition for the word “ASh”, ‘fire,’ might be rendered, "The birth of God in us". It has been speculated that the chariot that brings the savior to us might also be the vehicle for man to obtain divinity. If the physical vehicle (the fire itself) is also the gateway to the divine, this poses some problems. Time and again the same text tells us that man is unable to obtain divinity, to see God, to become divine on this Earth. Under the constraints the same text imposes, the physical limitations of our minds in mortal bondage are unable to be surpassed until existence and representation in an unearthly setting, a divine realm. If the flame itself is the birth of God in our physical selves, the appearance of the lights themselves would constitute the absolute presence of God. Transport, most likely the vacating of the mental capacities, would occur and would have to be instantaneous in nature to avoid the proposed sensory overload that would occur in the Divine presence. Man would be unable to see the lights and their increasing intensity because long before the brain could process the sensory data via the eyesight, he would be transported. Barring any intervention, a real-time realization would be impossible given the parameters of this universe. Man’s essence would immediately cease to exist in the earthly realm, thus negating the savior’s purpose for returning. Also problematic would be the actual increasing of the lights’ intensity, as it is said that the natural pressure and continuum of our planet would intensify as well due to the immense heat, and luminosity. Within the first few instants of the appearance of the first light, all of the planet’s oceans would boil, the high concentration of nitrogen in the natural atmosphere would ignite in a cataclysmic chain-reaction, the skins of all the animals, including humans, would turn in on themselves. The arrival of the savior in this divine carriage of fire would the sole cause of our Armageddon. The earth as we know it, would end. What we can infer from all of this is simplicity. The savior will not arrive in the fire from heaven’s eyes because of the massive screaming it would produce, the utter destruction that would result. The savior will arrive on a whimper.
***The Twelve Lights of the Flame:
1) The Concept - Divine - Refers to the inception of being, the indefinable point at which God decided a distinct person shall exist.
2) The Construct - divine - Refers to the physical coital action of man and woman, the actual act that results in the creation of a distinct person.
3) The Connate – Divine – Refers to the indelible instincts, and tendencies common to all distinct persons at the instant of birth
4) The Consternation – divine – Refers to the period soon after birth at which the distinct person recognizes an external world, usually accompanied by the first sense of fear
5) The Confusion – divine – Refers to the early developmental period where the distinct person is freshly experiencing the external world, observing and detecting outside stimuli with limited self-interference (the subject is incapable)
6) The Convoluted – divine – Refers to natural progression of human consciousness through observation and experience, as complex thought, opinion and morality develop within the distinct person’s mind
7) The Continuum – divine – Refers to the ‘in motion’ experience of the distinct person. The immediate earthly experience as it is processed.
8) The Conflict – divine – Refers to the mundane imposed social dilemmas the distinct person is faced with during an experiencing life
9) The Consent – divine – Refers to the paradigm shift that occurs when the distinct person is confronted with imminent death and departure from the physical realm, occurs after the realization of absolute ineffectuality
10) The Conclusion – Divine – Refers to the point of worldly death for the distinct person, and the immediate cessation of the worldly experience
11) The Conviction – Divine – Refers to the event after the worldly death, in which the distinct person is made to be accountable for all pursuits, decisions and actions in the earthly realm, and a final judgment is made by God on where the subject shall spend eternity
12) The Connsumatory – Divine – Refers to the fulfillment of Divine prophecy by the distinct person, the validation of God’s original concept for the subject’s existence
Friday, May 20, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Travelin' Javelin' Bands are events where many MIoF members get together to pull names from a hat and write a song in groups of 5 to 7. They usually go until about 3 in the morning, and take a long time to end up on My Idea of Fun, for some reason. This is the long lost first one. It went to Vermont with Brandon for a while, then got back to Matt, then to Jacob. Now to you. Listen for yourself if you were there, and let's do another one soon.
Visit the page and download here.
Go to JacobKoestler.com to check it out. I'd love any feedback.
On the topic of the internet, I also wanted to list some blogs that I frequent. All of these folks are, in some way, involved with My Idea of Fun.
Roberto Clemente Rookie Card is a music blog that Scotty keeps up in conjunction with his radio show. He posts a lot, always hypes MIoF and let's me know about all the hip, weirdo shit that I wouldn't listen to otherwise.
Olivia beefed it to NYC a few years ago, but still makes it easy to see what she's up to and looking at with her blog.
A few years back, we all started heading out to play shows and party in Indiana, PA with some of the coolest chicks we'd ever met. They, along with a couple from Johnstown, started an incredible, but short-lived, band called cones. Recently they've moved all over to different parts of the state and country. They keep in touch at Doca Cola.
A few of them also keep personal blogs that always cheer me up:
Emmy took a trip this summer and moved to Johnstown afterward. She writes about and shoots it at Walking.
Laura moved to a farm in Dayton and keeps in touch with her friend, Ashley at the aptly-titled Laura Ashley
Laci, as always, finds the happy medium between romance novels and fine art at Keeper Shelf.
And Kelly bridges the gap between Pittsburgh and Johnstown with Teach the Free Man how to Praise.
She, along with a lot of help from everyone else, also keeps The Color Project tickin'.