Untitled #24

I start to plan ahead
Filling out various forms
And feeling a gigantic rush of pleasure
With every envelope
Sensibly licked
Every postmark
Routinely stamped

I tell no one
Other than those who need to sign their names

As the fax comes into her daisy-filled office
My heart jumps at the extra page
He’s actually proud of me for once
I then start making up excuses
For the other side of things

All his songs sound the same
The complexity in lyrics
Making me want to systematically puke
Up a fresh meal of one’s and zero’s

My mind starts to expand at night
Waiting for the final hour to end
So I can smoke a cigarette in my first old car
My other hasn’t come out with me in it yet
My selfish fears that he’ll taint the interior
Ever present

I stop worrying about his problems
Right around the same time my new homework partner
Hands me his number and smiles like he knows
Which way the world is coming together

I ignore his sense of hope
Knowing full well who's still in charge

- C.W.