Today I picked up a world map that is nicely colored in with your basic green, red, orange, yellow and purple. North America is green, south of that is red. The Pacific Ocean, like Antarctica, is purple. There's some significance behind one ocean being covered in crayon.

My napping has been fantastical. I turn on an electric heater and put my face beside it until that part of me warms up, usually at the same rate of the heater itself. Then I move my limp body to my normal sleeping position. It's cold there at first, but the comfort of the position outweighs the temporary problem. (!) I set the alarm on my phone to wake me in 30-45 minutes and I place it behind me without turning away from the wall. When I wake up, an hour or so has passed, my room smells toxic and I'm surprised. If I masturbate, a few things are different. Mostly, I find my underwear tangled on one foot, and my sleep time is increased by 30-45 minutes.

When Dad calls, I'm usually not home. I'm at a bus stop or in class or at a birthday party. It's easy for me to remove myself from that situation, though, so it's not horrible. I can expect to smoke anywhere from 3-6 cigarettes, depending on how long it takes for him to repeat himself many times. (About one hour) I ash on the ground and make a little pile that I often carry away at the end. At least one corner of my new dress gets soaked in snot and tears. To the public, if there is any, I bet this looks sad. I tell my dad things like: "It's better to feel this." and "I know you love us." and often, " ." If I am home, a few things are different. Mostly, I ash into a full glass and prick my fingers on the cactus the whole time.

Somehow I can still relate to strangers and spirits. I think it's because our realms touch, corner to corner.