These things were not supposed to happen. I can only struggle with my curiousities and my obligations for so long before buckling into one or the other. It could be all random, as sometimes I believe I have a sicker heart than I let on. I am not an absolute. I am not a rock, you're right.
I am not a very nice person. I'm just a person, and I'm far too suffered by remaining apart. That worm crept in last night on the car ride and I really was afraid of it. I wasn't joking. I give everything a fair chance to affect me; that means even the bad; that means even the good (maybe). I had a dream I lost 3 teeth last night and that we were all wandering through a large, scary house, which we were told was haunted. Everyone went up the stairs anyway, but I lingered on the first step and lost everybody. If you set out to be a loner, you're going to be one at the end of the night.