An Essay Explaining the Undeniable Faults in this Website as far as representing my Personal Idea of Fun
This is an essay written as a response to a post on this blog thrown into existence at 11:58 P.M Thursday October 9th, 2008 aptly titled: A title would only make this like everything else. I am writing this because I too wrote the previous aforementioned post and as of right now, as a living and breathing person supposedly wrapped up in this elaborate web known as the my idea of fun blog, I must say that I can no longer pretend that these randomized thoughts and portraits of seemingly exhausted attention spans are going anywhere. I know that I am at least justified in saying such an almost truly degrading comment about said website, for several reasons, my main one being that I wrote the post mentioned above for this very reason, in order to respond to my own lack of an effort and hopefully call to light what I think the most significant problems are with this blog.
The five paragraphs thrown together and posted on Thursday night October 9th, are in my opinion, as the writer of them, absolute garbage. While seemingly personal and meant to sting some sort of mysterious spectator who daily checks the new entries, they were written in order for me to get some kind of response because I figured they would, simply because such paragraphs are some variation of shocking and unsettling (everyone’s head running rampant all of a sudden as they think about which one of their supposed friends, fellow artists and cohorts could be so goddamn disturbed)
Well let me just clear the air for a second. We’re all disturbed, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just a matter of how one takes such feelings of inadequacy or hate, love, loss etc. and uses them to their advantages. In my case I usually write fiction, interlocking various aspects of my life and bending them into a more pleasing manner. I feel as if my works are highly personal and the people that I write about, that I seemingly crafted out of thin air, are almost more reliable then say somebody who expects me to be a certain kind of someone given a specific, sometimes recycled situation.
That said, it is for this very reason that I feel my works as well as most likely those of some others are either being completely overlooked by seemingly more throwaway forms or even sometimes posts that are as random as my own made on October 9th, 2008. I wrote said work in fifteen minutes, grabbing from pieces of other posts I had read, tossing in some dirty little words like abortion and semen, and out of thin air, I made something that is given more attention and probably read by more people collectively simply because it’s short and to the point, and yet complete and utter bullshit.
To prove my point further I will briefly call to light specific faults in the post that should have been picked up on, at least if we’re all subscribing to the idea that we’re on the same page here. The second paragraph is written specifically from a male perspective, as it talks about his supposed lover’s abortion plans and then about how he would masturbate to images of his lover on other people’s bodies (more of a male attribute than a female one at least as far as I’m concerned.) Yet by the fourth paragraph, the viewpoint instantly shifts to that of a female when the narrator discusses shopping for dresses that remind her of those covered in semen, thus once again proving my ultimate point.
Crap like this seems to get more recognition, thought and opinion simply because it’s quick and digestible. People don’t have to waste their precious time with it, but rather like a quick and flighty snapshot, it’s a moment in time for them. It’s a thought at any given instant, everyone seeming to fall into the available, trend drowning themselves in the concept that their own personal thoughts will somehow magically turn them into artists. I mean, why not, right? Everyone has them, and a lot of them for that matter, and then suddenly what’s that? Oh, that’s right, now there’s a blog where you can post them and hope that your fake friends and former lovers read them.
Now given, I’m not calling out everybody here, nor am I going to say that I haven’t done the exact same thing on occasion, hoping that somebody will read what I’ve written and systematically put two and two together. At the same time, though, I feel as if My Idea of Fun is supposed to be more than that, because to be honest, I don’t think too many of these random ideas are turning into much of anything. Furthermore, if some bored wanderer was to track the progress of the posted ideas from last October to this October, they would only find out that a handful of them have actually fleshed out into something more, and by that I mean an actual release given a number, something that, logically speaking, everybody who posts on here and has the drive to do so, could very well do.
Then of course yet another problem arises. How does somebody go through the motions to put a chunk of their artistic expression into somebody else’s hands? Well, I have to say that this is probably the easy and hard part depending not only on the person, but furthermore what exactly they want to make. I would hope that people on here would want to say and create works of art that are more than just a passing thought or something that will only exist for roughly a week before getting thrown back to the next page, and I’m not saying that an overload of randomness is a bad thing, I’m just saying that sometimes things need to stretch past the normal confines of not only a blog, but also the people who read it.
I have written and posted something in every month since this blog came into existence and I have to say there have been many times where I was pleased with it as I felt as if it was going somewhere that was somehow bigger than what we had all originally intended. I don’t believe that anymore simply because a year later, nothing has really changed in the grand scheme of things. The people who normally work on things are still doing so, while others are simply latching onto the trend. All of a sudden it’s that time to be creative and slowly lose yourself in everything and everybody you’ve ever known.
Following my post on October 9th and all the ones that subtly built up to it, I feel that as of right now I can longer pretend that this is going anywhere, and that’s not to say that My Idea of Fun isn’t going anywhere because it definitely is, and I want everyone to be a part of it to the best of their ability and hopefully find exactly what it is they’re looking for in the grand scheme of things. All I’m saying is that I’m not finding what I’m looking for here and so this is my fond farewell so to speak, and it’s not meant to dissuade anyone from stopping what they’re doing, but rather simply think about where all of this is going.
Finally, I will say that I know or at least think I know everyone who posts on here, and I hope to one day work with all of them on some kind of project in some varying form, a parade of ideas already running through my head at this very moment in time, so hopefully if nothing else that should mean something. Collaboration is probably the best thing ever, and we need to do more of it, and get whatever it is out there, away from the bubble of own personal agendas and so forth. Also, I wouldn’t think any of you would simply expect for me to up and stop posting without some kind of rant, if for no other reason, then because it’s what I hope all of us expect of each other: to make a statement that is a complete representation of themselves.
So until the day occurs when all of our thoughts turn into paperweights, I remain affectionately yours,
Christopher S. Bell