Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Curing Death (4)

“I Went Down Swingin’”
“I guess we’d just been on the road too long. Jason was asleep in the passenger seat, and I didn’t see the deer until it was too late. Pennsylvania has the highest risk of deer related accidents of any state in the United States. I blamed myself for the accident; I should’ve been paying attention to the road. It was late, and we’d just played a show in Pittsburgh. We had to make it to New York by 2 PM the next day. We were co-headlining this year’s annual Burning Hearts Festival at the new location of CBGB’s. We were driving on I-78 at the time, and it was sometime after two when the deer came out. I was driving approximately 75 miles per hour, and Jason wasn’t wearing his seatbelt. He went straight through the window. His recorder was destroyed in the crash, so we lost his parts in the songs that we’d written on the road. It’s strange that the real Jason died before we’d even hit our peak as a band.
That happened 6 months later, when we’d recouped as a band, and with the new Jason at the head of the stage; his wail as lethargic as ever, Lemon Flavored Children went number one with our hit, “Friends + Benefits.” It’s amazing; I think that Jason 2 might even be a better songwriter than Jason 1 ever was. It really seems like he means it when he wails “Being friends with you is my greatest benefit,” in fact, that might be my favorite lyric he’s written.
Jason’s replacement still has a drug habit, but for some reason has a sense of religion instilled. I wonder if his mother had that implanted, or if it was Carrie. Regardless, his reactions to the needle aren’t nearly as bad; in fact, I think that his new system might be immune to the reaction. Regardless, he still acts the same, he simply doesn’t get sick. Carrie, on the other hand, I’m starting to worry more and more about. She’s getting thinner every time I see her these days, but she was okay back then. Actually, I saw her recently, and she looked quite well.
Sorry about getting side-tracked. Now what were we talking about?”
“Do you feel that after his death, that the new Jason Rogers is the same man as the one that died on that autumn evening?”
“Well, his song writing’s remained identical to how it sounded before he died. In fact, his voice is even better. I was skeptical at first; I don’t think I’d ever worked with a Robo-Sapien before Jason came back. However, the only difference I can tell at this point is that the drugs don’t hurt him, somehow.”
“Yes, but it was recently pointed out, after your fall from the spotlight, that Jason uses the same 4 chords in the structuring of every song. Do you think that as a Robo-Sapien, that Jason has the capability of learning new things?”
“Well, that’s never been what our band’s about. I mean, the public spotlight doesn’t require one to know more than three chords these days. Jason’s been writing what he knows since he picked up the guitar.”
“Interesting, but doesn’t he sometimes sing the same lyrics in new songs as he did in previous ones?”
“He says that’s to be ironic, I like the irony, personally, although it may bit a bit too deep for you.”
“I see. So you don’t think that his inability to truly write new songs might have something to do with your fall from the public eye?”
“No, these things just happen in this line of work. You know, Ringo Starr was quite unpopular in the 90’s, but just look at the impact the Beatles have had overall across the world. The same goes for David Bowie, and Tom Delonge. Sometimes this just happens to stars.”
“What musician inspires you the most?”
“Well, I don’t listen to much music, but I’d have to say the Beatles… ‘Sgt. Peppers’ Lonely Hearts Club Band’ was such an inspiration to me.”
“What’s your favorite song off of it?”
“Oh, most definitely ‘I am the Walrus.’”
“That song’s off the Magical Mystery Tour”
“I’d like you to have that part stricken from the interview.”
“Sure thing… Will you tell me about Carrie? Her relationship with the band seemed to have a big impact overall.”
“Carrie was the band’s first real fan, I think. She was there from the beginning, and thought she worked her way through members of the band; ultimately she ended up with Jason. It’s sad, because that’s led her on the downhill slope to where she’s at now. Jason always used to joke on the van; he’d say ‘If I keep doing this drug, I’ll be replaced by a robot! The robot’s life will be easier though because I died a rock ’n’ roll hero.’ It’s funny, really, because sometimes he still makes that joke. As I said, though, Carrie began dating Jason right after the band’s first Rims’ Freak Tour, in the summer of 2032. We finished the show, and they went to the van to go shoot up. As I said, I saw her recently, and I’m wondering if Carrie’s off the dope. She seems to have come back to her optimal weight, and she’s speaking clearly again.”
“Where’s the band going from here?”
“Well, we’re getting ready to release a new album; it’s called “Friends in Bed Together.” In my opinion it’s the most innovative album we’ve thus far made. I don’t expect there to be much trouble finding our way back to the charts.”
“Thanks for your time, Anthony, and ladies and gentleman, we’re now going to play the worldwide debut of Lemon Flavored Children’s newest single; “You Are My Light.” You are listening to WQTR: Walking Talking Radio. Listen for the new Lemon Flavored Children album, out in April of 2035, after they return from their world tour promoting the album.”

1 comment:

My Idea of Fun said...

These are really great.