Sunday, January 27, 2008


Item: Golden Tee arcade game.
Drunk man stumbles into the main room, balancing a dark colored drink (best guess: captain and coke, seems right) between his fingers, raising his eyes to the ceiling and puffing out his cheeks while he takes a sip from the straw. Walks up to the machine and deposits two dollar bills unfolded from the large wad that he prominently displays. He is wearing a white shirt, buttoned 3/4s of the way, untucked, with blue pin stripes. Sunglasses folded and hanging out of the breast pocket. Dark, baggy blue-jeans. Gold chain around his neck. After mashing some buttons and scanning the area to see who is looking at him, the machine lights up in a whirl of noises, piercing sounds, the man calls to his bros to check him out. He takes a running start and slams his hand across the stationary cue ball in the center console. The whizzing of the ball rolling in its chassis reverberates off of the brick walls, as there is a moment of silence between the blinding bass thumps from the hottest new jamz to be kicked by the illest disc jockey in the city. The drunk man is congratulated by the eldest member of his party, an equally drunk man, glistening under the lights, wearing the most fashionable vintage pre-ripped ball cap in the place (a distinguished honor). The man walks back to take his tee shot for the 2nd hole. His technique is not altered, and why should it be? He makes a run for the arcade machine, and his hand once again whizzes over the white ball. His skin becomes pinched between the ball and the arcade game's control panel. He screams in horror as the skin is peeled from his hand like a cobweb being torn down. His eyes go wide and he grabs at the exposed hand with his other hand, but not before the blood begins to pour out, drenching the video screen of the arcade game. The music cuts out. Slowly, there begins a chorus of laughter from the establishment's patrons, building into a lively climax. The drunk man is on the ground, bleeding, sobbing. He has learned a valuable lesson of the dangers and possible peril that can come as a result of haughty play during a round of indoor golf.

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