Always wanted to be one of those people out of whom poetry just flowed, but I never could get down that rhythm that the "urban poets" had on Def Comedy Jam.
Never got good at the depressing poetry either cause I have that guilt complex about being a white middle class male in America. I'm not starving, I'm not insane, and I'm not dead.
I fucking hate the almost-every morning when I wake up and think "wow, I'm not going to enjoy anything I'm going to do today at all". I wish I could be disconnected form that shit that I write all the time in my notebook, but I walk around with an almost constant sense of I-wish-I-were-elsewhere about me.
I put my iPod on random the other day while my mom was watching some show on tv and that mewithoutYou song came on and it felt pretty good hearing that line "one day the water's gonna wash it away" repeated over and over.
I've always been glad at how prolific I can be when I write, but at the same time I wish I could just write some decent poetry. It's so fucking disheartening to read poem after bitching poem on internet forums about such-and-such breakup or someone hanging on a cliff (everyone's on a fucking cliff) or else these worthless poems in some poetry books I bought or (worst of all) those fucking dumbass poems that win poetry contests because they're about "love blooming like a flower" or some shit; I don't believe in love or God or anything like that, but that doesn't make pretty poems. I want some fucking militant poetry!