I find myself being afraid of everyone I know sometimes. What happened to having nothing to lose? What happened to trusting the world to be not too big and heavy to handle? What happened to finding the eventual collective that none of them, with their blank pages and empty desks, understood at the time? That realization that it was already there, under their noses, the whole time, I just wasn't ready for it. I will try, though, one big time, to put it out there. A big decision, for your hearts, and for mine. I know what happened. I fucked it up for myself. My head went too far too fast. Numbed the reality a bit, and now, nothing, in hands, and an empty sucking sound in the heart. I'm so sorry.