Tuesday, September 23, 2008

this time last year

he called me a rotten cunt, threw a spoon, my cd. left in an outrage. i, of course, was crying. he went to a bar and saw some tits.


now seems like a good time to figure things out. to take things seroiusly. am i doing this for myself? what did i used to do? watch snow fall with candles on. indoors, buried:bundled:safe:still:or talking*

don't move too fast. take it easy. oh man, just take it easy. i brushed my teeth. friday 3 am something.


i'm getting stoned alone. how do i feel about this? okay. i'm trying not to give myself a hard time about things. it's so strange living here without him. i'm not ready to let go just yet. it's weird that people imagine things. i guess it's just an allowing of fear to be played out in one's life. so. it's over. not so bad. could we all just fear not being accepted in any way? some guy came over the other day and said that five chord progressions are bullshit.


this is a great corner to chill out in. this music is so abrasive. my infatuation with my roommate is not waning. i'm kind of just ignoring all the things i don't like about him. (not unusual) sometimes i think i could manipulate him into falling in love with me, but oh, it just might not be the best idea. it's yet another quiet yearning---completely fucking silent---haven't felt this simple of one in a long time.


it just started geting cold in here. i ate a banana. i'm gonna toke up again. this song. can't handle it. fuck, this looks like a dog house.

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