my mother's eyes keep darting. i should have never put that picture on my desk. whatever happened to living alone and mr. cabinet? someone else has pointed that out before, and i know the answer, but still. i wish i could stay at my mom's house most of the time. i like that we watched generations together. it was my favorite one (two), the two part story where picard kinda travels through time and there's an anomoly in the neutral zone and fucking Q is in it! mom was nervous i didn't like it. i think she likes it when i stay. dad works night shift and she's all alone. she stayed up and watched curb your enthusiasm. she watched me go out to my car because ever since i saw 28 weeks later i feel that a zombie is going to run around the house and get me and i'd be infected with RAGGGGE. i'm 22 years old. the bridge is fixed so i can go the old route and i don't have to worry about wrecking because i know it very well. welcome to the machine is how i feel right now. the light over my kitchen table is on. it's late. i might take a bath, haven't done that here yet and i do have those rose petal soaps i bought from the dollar store. i hope sam tells will to get a hold of me. something tells me i might be too confident about this one. maybe i just don't like how my laugh is the loudest thing in my apartment. i was really into that drum song, weener peener, but that might have been the drinking. i wonder if that mic falling was fault. man, that show ruled. the higher fives were completely different from what i thought, in which case i don't really remember what i thought but i was fucking suprised. i dug it and wish i were listening to them now. sigor ros was a bad idea. that other band blew my mind more than i think it should have. that polaris song was fucking fast. i really enjoyed that planetarium. driving home was one of the worst ideas. woke up with my clothes all over the apartment. that wind mill thing is the most perfect thing i've ever seen and i'm serious. i'm putting this off. i should go to bed. i hope i don't do this much, i'm a little embarassed. i'm nervous. what's the winter going to be like?