SLAM

Memories fly by jerky with awkward pauses like thissssssssssssss----
Where do I fit among the the things I've made and the things I remember
Are they one in the same do not both bear my name
My shame multiplied by every dirty deed I've done every good song I sung
Is gone like thissssssssssssssss----
What is this weird scrapbook I keep changing
Aligning pictures in different spots just to fit the plot like thisssssss----
I am the Creator, the Destroyer of me
Save, crop, discard, burn, move, lose, keep, CHANGE
CHANGE is the only constant is this shifting history of mine
So i am constantly changing because i am constantly changing
(My past)....My past rearranged feels like living room furniture rearranged
All the same pieces present but im pointing my remote at the couch waiting for the signal to kick in like thissssssssss----
You see, I see you in the present and feel nothing but the past
Embrace lost chances and pick up leftover forks in the road
But all these forks do is force food down my throat and I choke like thissssssss----
Keep your fork give me a knife hard, straight and shiny and with it I will forge my own path
And I will cut out any resemblance to you
No longer will I miss what I never had no longer willIi long for greener grass
I will eat what I have I will be thankful for what I got
Because its all I got
And though reality's mean dreams do not feed
No dreams keep us from whats in front of us comforting us with maybes and possibly's
Starving us elusively with promises of feasts if we hold out
Like a contestant in a game show we risk it all on a chance like thissssss----
We'll not me I'm taking the money and walking
No longer will I spit in the face of good fortune
After all isn't this always what I wanted and I got it
I got it or it got me but either way I get it so forget it like thisssssss----