three paperbacks. i'll hold them all for all of you. all three of you.
in pain, we feel distinguished. something keeps biting my neck.
please i cannot look at every man like you can.
please do not look at me old, or young man.
i feel it is too much.
that i'm afraid of love because i fear that really no one feels a thing at all
and i'll still be small and stuck
there was no end, no dream expanded into woods and truth and dust.
please understand, no one has been everywhere.
don't believe what they say about stopping and sitting and how.........

or maybe we should be sedated.
maybe we should pack all our things up until not another can see one other
thing about someone else.
stay close, for closenesses sake, if not mine and if not yours.
but there are attitudes more famous.

and i don't know about those because they don't fit into my bones
that easily.
you do not feel forgiven,
neither do i.
do i come off as i feel forgiven?
please. just wait.


first we need to accept that we will never know anything and we are all lying and i just want to stop
and sleep. rest for a little while.
this is all the further i can go because i'm becoming self conscious.