Untitled Start Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6
By noon in Dr. Robert William’s office, Audrey Tate was reliably exhausted. Various X-rays and cavities, cleanings and crowns had taken their toll; her shoes undeniably heavy by the time she finally sat down in the back room. Fran Yost, the round receptionist in her mid-fifties, was already comfortably stationed at the rectangular white table, the contents of her packed lunch scattered in the space around her. Like many phone operators before her, Fran was more mouth than bite, but nonetheless worthy of her own brash statements and occasional escapes from reality. Audrey opened the tan refrigerator, grabbing the leftover cob salad she made Saturday night, before sitting down in front of her fellow employee, both somewhat spacey after the morning’s slow crawl.
“I swear to God, if I hear one more housewife screaming about insurance I’m gonna completely lose it,” Fran said, her eyes reliably fixated on a trashy tabloid bought from the long supermarket line.
“Who was it today Fran?” Audrey asked, forking a cherry red tomato slice.
“Lisa Davidson…” Fran half-yawned before continuing. “Her husband’s that Mike Davidson, the weatherman for channel six.”
“Oh yeah, I know her. I think she got a boob job.”
“You’re not serious?” Fran looked up from the paparazzi photo of a scantily clad new wave teenage girl singer.
“Well you only talked to her on the phone today, right?”
“Yeah, she was scheduling to get her teeth whitened, again,” Fran replied in a dull tone.
“I saw her at the grocery store on Friday night, and they looked a lot bigger. I don’t know how to explain it, but after cleaning her teeth for more than five years, I can usually tell when something’s changed, something like that anyway,” Audrey chewed a long piece of lettuce, before wiping her mouth.
“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised. Some mothers take their daughters to get them done when they’re like fifteen now.”
“That can’t be true.”
“Oh it is. I saw this whole piece on Sixty Minutes about it a few weeks ago.”
“Well, that can’t be healthy.”
“Yeah, but it’s what the hip parents are doing these days.”
“I can’t see Benji asking me for implants anytime soon.”
“Well ya never know, Audrey.”
“I couldn’t afford it anyway with all the psychiatrist fees.”
“How’s all that going for him?” Fran asked, the veil of indifference in her voice lifting, and being replaced by legitimate concern.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure if there’s been a substantial change and I’m just not noticing it or maybe he’s just hiding it from me.”
“It’s tough for everyone at that age. I mean, without everything else, ya know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
“But jeez I wish Ralph would chip in on some plastic surgery for me one of these days,” Fran cracked her neck, before sticking her large chest out like a mother hen for the briefest of moments.
“You don’t need any Fran.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You still have the same ass from college. Mine’s at least doubled since then.”
“Be glad. It’s not like my college ass is helping me out that much.”
“Didn’t the Connel graduation party go as well as you had hoped Audrey?” Fran asked, in a high pitched, slightly nagging voice.
“Ya know, I think they’re right sometimes when they say it’s impossible to get back out there,” Audrey Tate was cropping all the familiar clichés in her garden again, without much concern for their growth.
“That’s not true. My second cousin Phyllis was divorced at thirty-seven, played the field for a few years, and then got remarried last summer to this photographer in New York, I think his name’s Gerald or something. Anyway, she couldn’t be happier.”
“Yeah, but it took her years to get there.”
“Well, all I’m saying is don’t let one bad experience next door discourage you.”
“Thanks Fran, you are truly on top of your game for giving shitty advice today.”
“Hey, anytime sweetheart.”
Both women went back to their respective packed lunches with satisfied smirks on their faces, before Robert walked into the back, carrying a brown doggy bag. He sat down at the table next to Audrey, cleaning the smudges from his brown-framed glasses, before starting in on the large roast beef sandwich from the bottom of the bag.
The fifty-two-year-old, bald, Robert Williams was like all other suburban dentists, somewhat proud of his own practice, desk and chair, while still strangely longing for an adventurous alternative to the day’s cruel spin. Nonetheless, he prided himself on being a good boss, even on those days when he could very easily sense his employees’ spiteful looks directed at them in the back lunchroom. He couldn’t always be their best friend, not with all the suction he needed them for.
“So do you ladies enjoy instantly zipping your lips the second I walk in?” The dentist asked before shoving a large portion of the sandwich into his mouth.
“We were done talking, Rob.” Fran replied sassily.
“Well, fair enough.”
“So did Leona drop that off for you?” Audrey asked, looking over at her boss’ lunch.
“Yes, she did,” He said with a satisfied grin.
“And you never get sick of your wife going out of her way like that?”
“Not usually Audrey, no.”
“Remember when you used to take us out for lunch Rob, ya know, before you got remarried and turned into such a cheapskate,” Fran was hitting her under-appreciated stride that day.
“I didn’t think you missed The Olive Garden so much Fran,” Robert replied, looking up from the table.
“I kind of do. God knows when the next time Ralph will take me out anywhere.”
“Well, that’s not exactly my problem now, is it Fran?” Robert said with a certain orderly tone to his voice.
“It will be when my lack of enthusiasm on the phone diminishes just a little more each day,” Fran replied, knowing full well how to push her boss’ buttons.
“Do you want me to talk to Ralph about it next time I’m cleaning his teeth?” Audrey asked, jokingly, while still trying to cool down the both of them.
“I don’t think he’s due for another five months,” Fran responded, opening up her small one-serving bag of barbecue corn chips.
“Well, then you’ll both have something to look forward to,” Audrey couldn’t resist returning the familiar vibe right back to Fran.
“Oh boy…” She grumbled.
“Ya know, remember when this office used to be a lot brighter?” Robert said, optimistically, fully aware of both his employees eventual frazzled responses.
“Not on Monday, Rob,” Audrey said like his mother.
“Well, I guess I was the only one who managed to get laid this weekend.”
“Ya hear that, I can barely make out the multiple sexual harassment suits coming around the bend,” Audrey said, sitting up in her chair.
“Jesus, somebody must have had a bad two days,” The dentist uttered, not taking the time to think about such a truly brash statement and its effects on his employee.
“She didn’t find Mr. Right at her next-door neighbor’s barbecue,” Fran spoke out, Audrey instantly giving her a death stare.
“Well Mrs. Tate, I didn’t know you were looking again.”
“Thinking about a second divorce so soon, Robert?” Audrey replied, sarcastically.
“No, I don’t think so. But ya know, I do have a friend who’s sort of in the same boat.”
“Somehow I doubt it it’s exactly the same boat,” Fran was enjoying filling in Audrey’s blanks for her far too much.
“Who is he?” Audrey asked, vaguely interested, while still hoping for a different kind of answer from all the others she was unfortunately used to.
“His name’s Lewis Grayson, he’s my travel agent.”
“Already that sounds good to me Audrey, you definitely need to get the hell out of this town for awhile,” Fran’s wit rarely curbed at lunch.
“What’s his story?” Audrey questioned inquisitively.
“He’s in his forties, recently divorced, has a daughter, I think she’s about thirteen.”
“And you know all of this information about your travel agent?” Fran asked, plainly.
“I went in last week to get a deal on a trip to Tahiti for August.”
“Just you and Leona, no kids?” Fran went wide-eyed.
“They’ll have more fun if we’re both out of town anyway.”
“I guess so.”
“So, what’s he look like Robert, this Lewis Grayson, the macho single travel agent?” Audrey wasn’t going to let up on her hostility. It felt too natural at that point.
“He’s alright, I guess. I mean, there are a lot of uglier bastards I could probably fix you up with in this one-horse town.”
“Thanks boss, that’s reassuring,” Audrey placed the lid back on top of the salad, her appetite having diminished quickly.
“It was just a suggestion. I mean, one date wouldn’t necessarily kill you.”
The back lunchroom became silent for a few seconds as Audrey looked across the table at her confidant. “What do you think Fran?”
“I don’t think it sounds like a completely awful idea.”
“So should I make the call then?” Robert asked, his foot tapping on the ground like a nervous six-year-old.
A million thoughts ran through Audrey Tate’s brain at that very moment, the inclination of an actual first blind date, set-up by her boss seeming a bit unsettling, but at the same time, not the most farfetched of ideas. She knew that she needed to get back out there, and that possibly showing up at planned social events in and around North Shade, wasn’t the best way to go about it. Possibly, Robert William’s brain had been working on a different level of concern that day. It wasn’t just him telling all the youngsters he enjoyed torturing far too much with the drill, to floss. This was somehow different, and as the pictures became clearer around her, Audrey once again tapped into the bank of repetition. What was the worst that could happen?
“Okay Robert. I guess set me up with him.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously. I need to get out. Breathe on my own, ya know, all that shit.”
“Okay, well I’ll give him a call sometime today. What night’s are you free?”
“Jesus Rob, you act like you don’t already know the answer,” Fran said, butting in.
“So you’re free every night then Audrey?” The dentist asked.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Well okay, I’ll make the call.”
Audrey tossed the remains of her salad in the large light gray trashcan, before leaning back in her metal chair and taking a breath. A blind date, she thought. It was almost an exciting concept, had the principle of it not been milked to death by every brash story and connotation out there. Audrey knew that she was at least ready for the initial step out the door, however whether or not she could maintain conversation and sound interesting enough, without bringing up the worst and most provocative incident in her life, would prove to be the major problem at hand. It would always be difficult, re-screwing one’s head back on, from the bottom up.

Laika the Astro-Hound Lyrics

The Transitions Never Stop

The time I spent wasting away in college,
I gained a few answers,
but earned no knowledge.
I just caught up with some friends,
blew off a few classes,
then moved home and re-evaluated my assets;

they're not worth much,
just some sentimentality,
what a stupid mentality,
to call paper "stability"

I moved home to Johnstown to find what's important,
spent my days since in the woods remembering that glint
in my eye;
and this city is sad,
but the energy that my friends exert make it worth every effort.

Now I'm working with kids far worse off than me,
and in truth, that's what stays my mentality,
because no matter how bored,
or how lonely I get,
I know there are people
who need much more help
than I ever did.

Philip-Lorca Di Corcia

Laci, here's that really nice archive with a lot of his work. I found the link from Shane Lavalette's blog.

Untitled Start Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5
Audrey Tate was scratching her brain in the small silver Ford, trying to think of things to say to her son that early in the morning. Benji was tired, and not used to having to deal with the concept of psychoanalysis before one P.M. usually. Dr. Dana Statler had a cancellation and a quota to fill, which prompted Audrey to schedule her first and only born right before she had work at nine. Two birds with one stone, almost. Needless to say, the rise and shine wake up call didn’t seem to be helping with Benji’s supposed depression. If anything, the dark circles under his heavy eyes were just going to make Dana prescribe more sunlight before something else to make him numb.
“So are you okay honey?” Audrey asked habitually out of the blue, before the familiar turn on Shenly Road towards the offices.
“What?” Benji asked softly, taking his head off of his right hand, before turning away from the window.
“I was just seeing if you were alright. I mean, you look a little out of it.”
“It’s cause I’m not used to being awake at this hour.”
“Well, I’m always up this early.”
“I know mom.”
“So there’s nothing you wanna talk about then?”
“You’re asking me if I want to talk before I go see my shrink. Isn’t that kind of like overkill mom?”
“Well, we don’t have to talk about the same kinds of things.”
“I’m fine, okay? I mean, whatever you think is the matter, it’s not nearly as serious as you think it is.”
“Okay…”
Audrey kept her mouth shut as she pulled into the long and practical parking lot. Benji was sort of loathing another misguided visit with Dr. Statler, but couldn’t necessarily sway Audrey or the rest of the higher level over-protective adult figures in his life, to simply let up. They all figured that something as dramatic as a father’s escape and eventual suicide meant there was a lot rolling around in his fifteen-year-old brain, and that a major breakthrough was on the verge of occurring.
Benji had known better by that point, coming to the all so clear realization that everyone his age had a lot on their minds, regardless of whatever corrupted bullshit managed to pass through the double doors. However, he didn’t necessarily mind the extra attention, considering Dana’s qualifications and furthermore, long legs.
“So your Aunt Ellen’s gonna pick you up in an hour,” Audrey reconfirmed, putting the car in park.
“Yeah, I know.”
“Okay, well have fun…” Benji rolled both eyes at his mother. “Or, ya know, a breakthrough.”
“Thanks mom. I’ll see ya after work.”
“Goodbye sweetheart.”
Audrey watched her son slowly but surely make his way towards the red brick building. She felt horrible every week at around the same time, his less than upbeat steps always having the most primordial of effects on her. She wished it was all different, not necessarily that Caleb had stayed or learned to figure his life out in another fashion, but rather that simply Benji had some other kind of activity to participate in on a Monday morning. In short, she felt like a horrible mother, and the thought would no doubt stay with her the whole day, as Audrey Tate drove from one clean office building to another.

Benji was only in the waiting room for roughly ten minutes before Dana’s office door opened, and an overweight housewife in a bright pink T-shirt stepped out, blowing her nose like the war had just begun. He sprung up in his seat at the sight of her, the twenty-nine-year-old physician always managing to wear something strangely attractive. Benji wasn’t sure what it was about Dana Statler that got to him either.
Sure, she was conventionally pretty, long black hair and a physically fit body, always wearing large dress suits with shoulder pads that were anything but intimidating, yet there was something else to her too, something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. It wasn’t just that she listened either. After all, that’s what she was paid to do, and a lot of people could very easily pretend to listen if the money was right. It was the advice she offered that somehow seemed to stick without completely sticking, and the way her dark brown eyes would occasionally light up past her thick black-framed glasses that truly drove the already unstable Benji Tate over the edge.
Her office was obsessively spotless. The desk was as spic and span as the brown leather couch where supposed bigger concerns where meant to be touched upon. That particular Monday was somewhat of a long drag for both Benji and Dana, though, neither one really picking up on the subtle clues they both meticulously left for each other. Benji was desperately trying to make Dana realize that nothing was wrong with him, while the good doctor oddly enough, enjoyed dropping hints about the larger issues, before scratching the bare minimum off the surface of her patients supposed problems. It was simplistic and supposedly elaborately educated at the same time, but Benji Tate wasn’t necessarily picking up on the point of it all.
“So why do you think hiding in your room is more productive than being social Benji?” Dana asked, before fixing her glasses. It had taken roughly forty-five minutes for the both of them to get there.
“I thought I already explained it. It’s not like I’m necessarily anti-social, I just don’t like the majority of the people I know.”
“Well, you’re not gonna see anybody if you just hide in your room.”
“I bet to differ Dr. Statler,” Benji said, an unrequited smirk lining his face.
“Are you referring to your next door neighbor Lorene, because I have to say, that’s not really healthy behavior.”
“What is healthy behavior then? Dating some girl I could care less about?”
“No, not necessarily. You’re fifteen Benji. You don’t need to be searching for anything so serious right now.”
“Right… So is that how it works? I come and see my reliable shrink, probably one of the most serious activities out there, and you tell me not to be so serious?”
“No, I didn’t say that. I said, that at your age, you shouldn’t be obsessing so much.”
“Says who? Obsessing is like a normal thing. I mean, I think I’ve seen enough John Hughes’ movies to know that.”
Dana took a long sigh, before shaking her head and setting the small green notebook she had been continually taking notes in, down on the table next to her. She then took a sip of her coffee, watching Benji’s eyes wonder around the room, fixating on the random hardbacks on her cherry bookshelves in-between the looks he aimed directly at her available skin.
“So, what’s the prognosis here doc?” the patient asked, sarcastically.
“I don’t know. I mean, do you think we ever get anywhere Benji?”
“Kind of, I think. I mean, maybe if you and I went out to dinner, we could discuss less important matters other than my life.”
“Don’t do that.”
“What?” His smirk grew wider.
“Don’t act like you don’t know, either.”
“Listen, Dr. Statler, Dana, all I’m saying is that my mother and all my teachers and whoever else have been worried about my so-called anti-social behavior, and it’s your job to remedy that, right?”
“Benji, it’s my job to help you whichever way you see fit.”
“Alright, well if you and I went out, A. I don’t think I’d be nearly as anti-social, and B. it would be like two birds with one stone.”
“Not really. It’d be illegal.”
“What about that thing, though? Uh… what’s it called? I’m trying to remember.” Benji scratched head for half a second and then snapped his fingers. “Doctor-patient confidentiality.”
“Yeah, it doesn’t work like that.”
“So what you’re saying is that I’m not attractive enough, right?”
“Just stop it Benji. This isn’t getting us anywhere.”
“Yeah, I know, and I blame your lack of people skills. I mean, maybe you should get out more.”
“I get out plenty, trust me.”
“Oh yeah? Well then how come you’re closing in on thirty and not married. I mean, that’s not normal, is it?”
“It’s normal for me.”
“Ya know, once you cross that line, it’s just gonna get harder.”
“Well, I’d say I’m more or less prepared for whatever happens.”
“Alright, I guess that’s what they tell you to tell yourself when such a touchy subject comes up.”
“Believe me, it’s not as touchy as you think.”
“Well, okay.”
“So I think I’ve completely lost where I was trying to go with this whole session today.”
“Really, because I’d say we made a lot of progress. I mean, more than usual anyway”
“Ya know, if you wanted to, you could probably get out of coming here. I mean, it’s not like you’re fooling anybody.”
“I’m not even sure what that means Dr. Statler.”
“It means talk to your mother. Tell her you’re okay.”
“Oh, believe me I tried. The whole thing is, she’s not exactly okay, which means I don’t really want her to feel out of place in our house because of it, plus I gotta say, I really do enjoy talking to you. I mean, it’s nice to get a women’s POV on the whole messed-up stitch that is my life.”
“Well, glad I can be of service Mr. Tate,” Dana said in a monotone drone before slouching in her chair. Regrettably she knew it had been their best session in months.

Benji Tate sat on the front steps of Dr. Statler’s office building with both his ears finally tuned in to the sounds of I See A Darkness. The music was less than appropriate for such a warm sunny day, and yet he knew it would soon suit his surrounding atmosphere upon her arrival. She was always late, and the reasons never varied.
Caleb’s sister, Ellen Frear, pulled into the parking lot, reliably in front of her supposedly solemn nephew. Benji slowly arose from the stone steps, opened the front passenger’s side door, and entered into the reasonably messy dark gray minivan. The loud screeches from the seven-year-old twins, Alvin and Lucy, sitting in the back, instantly drowned out all sounds pounding directly into Benji’s ears from his headphones. He took them off and looked over at his aunt’s flushed face. It was only ten fifteen and already Ellen looked like she was having the longest day of her life.
“Hi Benji, how’d everything go?” Ellen asked, faking optimism, before she backed out of the lot.
“About the same Aunt Ellen.”
“Well, is that good or bad?”
“Don’t worry about it. It is what it is.”
“Okay.”
“So do you have a belly ache Benji?” Lucy asked from the backseat.
“No Lucy, why would you think that?” Benji asked, turning to the blonde devils in the back, both, at seven, beyond ready for separation anxiety.
“Mom said you were just at the doctor.”
“Oh…” Benji turned to his aunt who looked far too stressed for an explanation.
“Lucy, I tried to tell you. It’s not…”
“I’m getting the new Spider-man today Benji!” Alvin interrupted his mother, holding up the faded red and blue action figure, Spidey’s left foot having been chewed by the Frear’s family Saint Bernard, Boba.
“That’s pretty cool Alvin,” Benji said, upbeat without sounding condescending like his aunt had to him moments earlier.
“Yeah, I know. It really is, isn’t it?” Alvin replied, before making his action figure scale the car window.
“So do you have diarrhea Benji?” Lucy asked inquisitively, her younger brother by three minutes starting to giggle, a few snot bubbles forming out of his left nostril. Benji couldn’t contain his grin as Alvin wiped his nose on the tail of his green Incredible Hulk T-shirt.
“Yeah, ya know, I think that might be it.”
“Eww… Gross.” Lucy responded, scrunching her nose up and sticking her tongue out.
“I’m sorry about all of this Benji. You know how they are.”
“It’s alright.”
“So, I hope you don’t mind, I was going to stop at the mall real quick, to get a few things.”
“That’s fine. I don’t really have any big plans for today, Aunt Ellen.”
Benji turned back to the window, remaining mostly silent as the twins started arguing again. All their fights were simplistic, never rounding the corner to the verge of logical sense. They were common scrapes over this and that, items and objects quickly spotted in passing or thought about at random. While Benji would usually become strangely aggravated by such a clear and present display of sibling rivalry, for some reason that day was different. Nothing was getting to him in the way it used to, almost as if the repetition of certain therapy sessions and car rides were unexplainably sinking in. North Shade mall wouldn’t prove to be so beneficial. There was no escaping everybody in such a small town.