"Payment of the heating bill makes you feel at ease. Even if it's late, licking that goddamn envelope slakes the shakeys. You keep living like a dog, and that thing is in the mail. Dogs don't pay bills, but you don't lick your asshole--couldn't if you want to. You lick envelopes."
-Anna d'Choldbiet, age 73
Monday, December 3, 2007
Sunday, December 2, 2007
It seems like there is always some sort of betrayal in order, whether it be obvious or completely off of the spectrum. It feels so much easier to just run and hide with records and other people's problems filtering in through headphones. It's strange that listening to other people talk about their bullshit helps me get through my own. It's like diffusion. I can't remember the last time I said what I actually thought. Starring blankely forward has been a trademark. I hate the fact that I have to reasonably social today. I hate the fact that I'm expected to think today or at least think about what I'm not doing or thinking about. Life is shit. Why does everyone continually keep reassuring themselves that anything is going to change? Let's just face the facts. We're all terrible people. I feel like Morrisey when I get this way, and I don't even really like The Smiths that much.
(translated from Spanish)
“Lovely Pepita,
One more week, my sunshine. Then I will get to wrap my arms around you once again. I will take you into the bedroom and we will conjure our magic through all of the house. My lovely wife, how I wish to be back home. But out here, the trees are screaming this time, Pepita. Now they know that when I come, I come for them. They have learned to fear where my feet go. There is the one tree that is special, Pepita. It is going to be the one that allows us to live for this next year. It will give us that extra push that we have been needing. We will be able to live with this tree. I only need one more week to wrangle it. I know I have went over the limit, a lot more than I said that I ever would go, but when I return home, you will be on your knees thanking something that I stayed. She is beautiful, she reminds me of you; she has a fire that burns deep within her. Her bark is dark and smooth, and she reminds me of you. At least it is better to be out here with something that reminds me of you, rather than out here with nothing that reminds me of you, right? Are Miguel and Mateo minding you? If not, make sure they know that their father will take care of it when he comes home.
With eternal love,
Manuel
“Lovely Pepita,
One more week, my sunshine. Then I will get to wrap my arms around you once again. I will take you into the bedroom and we will conjure our magic through all of the house. My lovely wife, how I wish to be back home. But out here, the trees are screaming this time, Pepita. Now they know that when I come, I come for them. They have learned to fear where my feet go. There is the one tree that is special, Pepita. It is going to be the one that allows us to live for this next year. It will give us that extra push that we have been needing. We will be able to live with this tree. I only need one more week to wrangle it. I know I have went over the limit, a lot more than I said that I ever would go, but when I return home, you will be on your knees thanking something that I stayed. She is beautiful, she reminds me of you; she has a fire that burns deep within her. Her bark is dark and smooth, and she reminds me of you. At least it is better to be out here with something that reminds me of you, rather than out here with nothing that reminds me of you, right? Are Miguel and Mateo minding you? If not, make sure they know that their father will take care of it when he comes home.
With eternal love,
Manuel
Saturday, December 1, 2007
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